Why are you on the streets?
by brittsanbritt
Summary: Santana bullied Brittany in high school really badly and now at the age of 20 Santana is still having night terrors over the thoughts of what Brittany may have done because of her. Santana, Quinn and Rachel live in New York and are in a band together. What happens when they find Brittany sleeping outside their apartment building on the streets?
1. 1 Brittany

Chapter 1

*Quinn's POV*

It's happening again. Every night. She wakes up screaming and crying out her name. Rachel and I haven't got a clue what to do and I'm worried out her. She's been my best friend since I started middle school and we've gone through everything together. We joined Glee Club together. She helped me when I got pregnant with Puckerman's child. But in High School we were bitches. We picked on the innocent. But she always had a favourite to pick on. Brittany. Brittany S. Pierce. She wasn't the smartest and she was a complete nerd. So she picked on her. No she didn't pick on her. She bullied her. Everyday. But she's changed now. When she moved in with Rachel and I she came out. She had changed completely. Not in looks so much, she just looked older. But her attitude towards everything and everyone was different. Her and Rachel didn't see eye to eye in High School, but now Santana treats her the way she treats me. Like family. But recently, over the last half of a year she's been waking up crying and screaming. She screams Brittany's name. She's so guilty for everything she did in Senior year and everything it made Brittany do.

"Quinn. QUINN" I hear Rachel yelling from the direction of her room. I run from the kitchen into her room. She's lying there on the ground with Rachel holding her in her arms. I drop to my knees beside her and check her pulse. Great. She fainted again.

"Santana?" I shake her body roughly. "Wake the fuck up!" I yell at her

"Quinn? I hurt her" She whispers to me and Rachel looks at me like I should have a solution or reply to what she says. But I don't.

"Yeah. You did, but Santana you can't hold onto this. I'm sure she's living a happy life and that she's dealt with what you and I both put her through. And Santana this was 3 years ago and you've changed. You're now 21 and you've got to move on from this" I tell her

"But Quinn. I hurt her so badly. I don't know what she actually did about it. She could've been self harming or suicidal because of me. And I have these awful dreams about her trying to. Trying to kill herself and then I wake up screaming. I need to know she's ok Q. I just need too" She cries silently into my arms. Rachel's gone to get water and pills for Santana.

It takes an hour but eventually she's calm enough to go back to sleep. Rach and I stay with her and we all cuddle up together in Santana's bed to make sure she knows we're still there.

The next day I woke up and looked over to Rachel who was fast asleep against Santana's back, I climbed out of Santana's grasp and kissed both girls on the forehead. I walked out and into the kitchen putting on the kettle to make us all coffee because I have a feeling we'll need it for rehearsal today. You see Santana, Rachel and I we started a band when we moved to New York. When Rach and I moved in here we found 2 guitars in a second hand shop down the road from our apartment building and we made an effort to actually learn how to play. Then Santana moved in and once her stuff was shipped here by her parents we found out that she was able to play the bass guitar and guitar. She's ridiculously talented. I know it's weird to not have a drummer, but we couldn't find one we got on well enough with to have them join the band. So, no drummer for us.

"Rachel! Santana! Get out here!" I yell through the door when the kettle finishes boiling. I pour 3 cups of coffee, one that says Santana, one that says Rachel and one that says Quinn.

"Ah the traditional coffee cups with our names on them. You know I don't even know where this tradition came from?" Santana says as she jumps onto the kitchen countertop.

"Yeah I don't know either" I say as I hand her the mug of coffee

"My grandparents. They used to um buy every member of our family a mug with their names on it when they were born. It kind of made you an official member of the family. Hence why I bought you both those mugs." Rachel says as she scratches her head

"You consider me a member of your family?" Santana whispers from her corner

"Well yeah. Of course I do San. You've done so much for me and I love you dearly" Rachel says. I think Santana was a bit shocked by that.

"Umm I-I-I need to go get ready" She says as she runs out of the room and into our music room.

*Santana's POV*

Nobody ever tells me they love me and that's because nobody loves me but when Rach said that it really got to me. I know it sound stupid but I'm really self conscious. In high school I was on the cheerleading team and every guy wanted me but I wasn't cool, I wasn't popular. Truth is. I'm a nerd. I love comic books and superheroes. I go to comic con and play minecraft. I've loved these things for so long because I grew up around boys. And as for the whole guys wanting me thing, I didn't care for them or want them back. I don't swing that way. Basically I'm a lesbian. I'm a lady-loving-lesbian. And in high school I was not proud of who I was. So I picked on, no bullied the weak, especially Brittany. God she was so beautiful. And she was bi. And she was my best friend. Then something happened and I blamed her. That's why I gave her so much crap. I hate myself for what I did to her. I wake up every night screaming because I'm terrified of what Brittany might have done to herself because of me.

We've got band practice in an hour so I should probably pack up the instruments. I grabbed my navy blue bass guitar, that's my baby, I placed it in it's case and carried it out to the door.

"Hey San. You ok?" Rachel says as I walked towards the door. I ignored her and just put my headphones in. Playing Breathe Me by Sia. That's the only song that gets me through the night terrors. I walked back and forth from room to door and once all 4 instruments were out there (my bass, Quinn's electric and acoustic guitar and Rachel's guitar) I waited for the other two to get ready.

"Guys. Come on! We gotta go. Like now!" I yelled to through the apartment

"Alright we're here!" Rachel says as she walks over to me and grabs her guitar case with Quinn quickly following behind. We walk out of the apartment and head to the studio we rehearse in.

*Rachel's POV*

"Quinn! Santana! Let's run it again!" I yell "5, 6, 7, 8" We begin to play a cover of Valerie by Amy Winehouse. This song is supposed to be sung by Santana, but she told me to do it because she couldn't get the words out. We got to the second verse when Santana started to look pale.

"Hold up. This doesn't work without drums. A drum track, yeah sure it's ok, but we need a real live drummer." Santana says

"She's right. We need to find a drummer. Soon." Quinn says to me. I look at Quinn and we stare into each others eyes. I'm not to sure why but butterflies start to flutter in my stomach. Then suddenly we hear a crash and both our heads turn to Santana's direction. She's on the floor in a heap.

"Shit. Santana!" I yell as Quinn and I run over to her.

"It's alright. I'm ok. Let's get back to rehearsals." Santana says as she tries to get up but fails miserably

"No no no. You stay there. We're gonna pack up and call a taxi cab for us to drive home. It's late anyway." Quinn says and I look at her

"Hey. Q? Is she ok?" I whisper

"I don't know Rach. I'm really unsure" she whispers back

We just sigh and pack up our instruments and climb into the cab dragging Santana with us.

We got back to the apartment and we see a girl, she's wrapped up in moth eaten blankets and a white beanie at least I think it's white. She's so pale.

"Quinn? Come here" I say and Quinn comes running over with Santana in tow

"What? What's going on?" She says and stops talking when she see's the girl outside our apartment building

"She looks so ill. Guys. It's winter. She's going to die if we leave her out here." Santana whispered as she stood infront of us closer to the girl

"You're right San. But what can we do?" I ask her

"Take her inside?" Quinn says sarcastically

"Exactly." Santana smirks as she goes over to the girl and lifts her up. The girls head settles on Santana's shoulder as we begin to walk inside with her. The girls hair moves away from her face and my eyes grow wider. I look over to Quinn and see that she has the same facial expression as I do.

*Santana's POV*

That girl outside. I felt a connection with her and I'd just seen her. She's clearly homeless and needs help. And I want to give her that help it makes no sense. As it's winter she's going to die if we let her sleep on the streets. I can't let that happen. I don't know what came over me but I lifted her up and held her in my arms allowing her head to rest on my shoulder.

Rachel, Quinn and I walked up to our apartment and Q unlocked the door. I entered the front room and placed the girl from the streets on the couch. I turned away from her to look at Quinn and Rachel. Their eyes had gone huge, like anime huge.

"What? What's wrong?" I ask

"Santana. I think that I know her. The girl." Rachel whispers, I whip my head around and begin to walk cautiously towards the couch.

"Oh my god. That's…" Quinn began

"Brittany" I cut her off as I reached the couch and the girl who I'd been thinking about for several years and wanted to know if she was ok. Apparently she wasn't. But now. She's here.


	2. 2 Finding You

Chapter 2

*Santana's POV*

I woke up the next day praying that this wasn't some sort of dream and that Brittany was still sleeping on our couch. I walked out into the kitchen and saw Quinn wandering around trying to stay quiet and doing a terrible job at that.

"Quinn! What are you doing?" I whisper

"Shit! Santana you scared me! I'm making breakfast you dumbass. Now shut up I don't want you to wake Brittany!" Quinn says quietly

"What?! She's still here?!" I yell and suddenly hear a thump coming from the living room and see a blonde head pop up from in front of the couch and that's my cue to exit. I sprint past the couch and run into my room. My breath is heavy and tears begin to cascade down my cheeks. How the hell am I going to face her? After everything I did! What if I did cause her to do something to herself? What if she hurt herself because of me? You know what? I'll just stay in my room until I get hungry or need to go to work. Who knows? I collapse on my bed and cuddle into my pillow. Great.

*Quinn's POV*

This is insane! It's insane! Santana just ran away and now I have to deal with Brittany by myself!

"Quinn?" Brittany says

"Hey Brittany!" I say as I continue making breakfast

"What's going on? Why am I here?" She asks panicking

"Brittany. Calm down. Myself Rachel and S…Just myself and Rachel found you outside our apartment building and since its winter we were worried about your safety so we brought you inside the apartment. Brittany? Why were you sleeping on the street?" I ask

"M-m-m-my parents they kicked me out of the house back in Lima so I moved here with no money and no where to live. So for the past 4 months since I arrived in NYC I've been living on the streets dancing for money in order for me to get food." She whispers

"Oh my god. Brittany. That's awful" I say

"It's ok. But listen, I best be getting out of your hair anyway. Thank you for saving my life Quinn." Brittany says as she puts the pillows back on the couch and headed towards the door

"No Brittany stop! Don't leave! Stay here! We have a spare room that you can have." I tell her as the door to my bedroom opens and Rachel walks out

"Hey Britt" she says as she makes a cup of tea

"Rachel? Would it be ok if Brittany moved in? She can live in the spare room. She needs somewhere to stay. Please?" I beg her

"Yeah of course. Brittany please take the room. I'd love it if you did" Rachel says

"Ok. If its ok with you all I'd love too" She exclaims as she runs to hug Rachel and I. This should be interesting, just wait until Santana find out.

*Santana's POV*

Why did I have to work today? Now I've got to walk past Brittany. Fuck.

I left my room and tried to tiptoe past the 3 girls sat on the couch. I was so close to the door when I stepped on the one squeaky floor board in the entire apartment. Suddenly I felt 3 pairs of eyes on me and I turned on my heels as slowly as I could.

"Santana?" Brittany whispers with her eyes wide

"Hi Brittany" I whispered looking at the floor

"I can't do this." Brittany said "I'm sorry Quinn, Rachel, thanks for the offer, but I just can't" she ran out of our apartment pushing past me and my heart broke as I heard her sob!

"Crap! We need to find her! It's winter. We can't let her live on the streets! She'll die out there!" Rachel yelled, but I couldn't do anything. I couldn't move. I couldn't talk. I couldn't breath. Next thing I knew I was looking up to the ceiling, but it wasn't the ceiling that I usually see. I looked around and saw that I was lying in a hospital room with Quinn and Rachel holding each others hand. I think Rachel was crying and so I stretched my arm out to touch her hand and she jumped, twisting her body to face me as well as Quinn

"Santana!" They both exclaimed. It's good to know they love me.

"What happened to me? I don't know what happened?" I said

"Santana you fainted, you started breathing really heavily just after Brittany left" Quinn stated and I jolted up in my bed, unplugging myself from the wires and clambered out of the lumpy hospital bed.

"Santana! What're you doing?!" Rachel yelled as I began to put on my jeans

"I'm not staying in here whilst Brittany is somewhere on the streets of New York probably close to death. I'm not going to let her die if there is something I can do about it!" I said as I pulled my red baseball shirt over my head and put on my New York Yankees red snapback and ran out of the hospital room with Quinn and Rach yelling my name whilst running after me.

"Santana! Wait Up" Rachel yelled

"We're not gonna let you search by yourself! We're gonna help you" Quinn said as we reached her car. I just looked at them waiting for them to start laughing at me "Well? You getting in?" Rach says and I jump into the car

We drive around and we pull up by our apartment building, it's been an hour and still no sight of the blonde. "Listen guys, I really appreciate you coming out to look for her with me, but you guys can go back to the apartment, I'll be fine looking alone" I tell them, but Quinn grabs Rachel's hand and it's obvious they're not leaving me. I really am grateful for that! We began walking down past the movie theater and then we heard it. Those screams that go through you like a knife through butter. We all turned and faced the back alley near the theater, we heard screams and muffled words. I'm sure that whoever it was did not want to be there. It was probably a really stupid thing to do but I ran down the alley and saw something I never wanted to see. Brittany. With some drunk-ass-man pushing her against the wall trying to force his hands down her pants.

"Oi! Mate!" I yelled and the guy turned to me

"What do you want? I'm kind of busy" He slurred out

"I'm about 99.9% sure she does not want that so I have 2 things for you. 1. You can let me crack one of your nuts, right or left, that's your choice. Or 2. You can walk away and live to be douchebag another day" I yell out.

"Oh yeah. Sweetie. You're not gonna be able to stop me!" He said and then he made a swing for me. Ok. Now Snixx is out! I punched him in the face and it knocked him to the ground. I kicked him in the balls and repeatedly kicked his face until blood was falling from his nose. He seemed kind of out of it so I left him and went over to Brittany. She was shaking so badly. "Brittany?" I whispered hoping not to startle her, she jumped and looked at me with tears in her eyes

"Santana? Why are you here? What are you doing?" She said trying not to show her tears

"I'm here because I needed to know you were ok. Clearly you weren't, so I came looking for you. I heard you scream and I beat the crap out of that guy. I'm sorry Brittany." I tell her

"Santana! Brittany!" Quinn and Rachel yelled as the ran down the alley

"Brittany, are you ok?" Quinn asked as she was checking Brittany's face for injuries

"I'm fine Quinn." Britt replied looking at the ground

"Brittany, you have to come and stay at our apartment. We have that spare room. I don't want you sleeping on the streets, not with men like that around. Please Brittany?" Rachel begged. I saw Brittany turn her head towards almost as if she was thinking through and then I saw everything that happened in High School flash into my mind, I could tell it was happening to Brittany as well. She had tears in her eyes and so did I. I don't know why or how, but I feel like someone upstairs is helping me out, giving me another chance. It's probably my Dad. He always liked Brittany in Middle School. It's complicated…but in Middle School Brittany and I were best friends. I was pulled out of my thoughts when I heard Brittany say "Ok. I'll move in" Rachel and Quinn hugged her and I began to cry. Silently. I can't believe this day is happening finally. I couldn't let them see me cry so I began to walk out of the alleyway. Maybe things will get better. Thank you Daddy.


	3. 3 The Truth About Santana

Chapter 3

 ***Rachel's POV***

I'm really glad we found Brittany and I'm glad she's ok, but I'm worried about Santana. She's had night terrors for a while now and it's all because of the girl who is now going to move in with us. I'm really not sure how this is going to work I don't know if either of them will be able to cope with being near each other. You know it's weird. Those to were inseparable throughout Middle School and most of High School, but when we were let out for Summer Vacation of Junior year they seemed fine, but when we started senior year started that fall something had changed inside Santana, she turned into a bitch. She slushied any kid who looked slightly nerdy or different, she beat up people, she terrorised the school. Nobody made eye contact with her and if on the occasion that you did her eyes looked broken and sorrowful. Something bad happened that summer, but Santana won't talk about it. Even now, it's like she's scared to say it out loud because it'll break her even more. I remember one time it was December of our Senior year and I was walking back from Breadstix when I heard crying coming from a park bench. I turned around and then I saw Santana. The Santana Lopez curled up in a ball on a park bench sobbing her heart out. My natural instincts kicked in and I headed over to her, I asked if she was ok and she told me to, and I quote, "Beat it Berry." And so I did. It's almost midnight and the apartment is really quiet. Brittany's asleep in (what is now) her room, I think Santana's in hers and Quinn and I are cuddled up in our bed.

"Rach?" Quinn says knocking me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah?" I reply whilst staring at the wall in front of me

"Ok. What's wrong? Something's bothering you I can tell, your eyebrows are doing that cute creased thing that happens when you're thinking really hard" She tells me as she pokes my eyebrows which makes me giggle.

"Quinn I'm worried about Santana. She's been having night terrors for months or at least that's what we think! What if she had those before? What if Brittany moving in makes them worst? You know! When Britt agreed to move Santana left that alley so fast, I think she was crying and I'm almost certain she was thinking of what happened with Brittany senior year. Quinn I think she needs help." I whispered with tears running down my face. My best friend, band mate and roommate needs help. It's just hit me that Santana does have a problem.

"I know Rachel. But babe, I think we need to let Santana work it out for herself and come to us when she needs help. Come on beautiful, don't cry, let's just get some sleep and we'll talk about this tomorrow ok?" she whisper whilst holding me by the waist.

"Ok. Goodnight Q" I said as I shuffled under the covers and rested my head on her chest. Then I felt Quinn's lips on the top of my head. And then silence!

*Brittany's POV*

It was probably about 4am when I woke up to screaming coming from the room across from me. I got out of bed and went over to the door, pulled it open just as Quinn and Rachel were running past the door. "Quinn? What's going on?" I said as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes

"It's Santana. Go back to bed Brittany. We've got it." Quinn spoke with such a fast pace for 4am. It's like she's used to it.

"QUINN! HELP ME!" Rachel yelled from what I guess is Santana's room. Quinn ran through Santana's door and as I'm nosy as hell I follow. The doors been closed but I can still hear every word they're saying.

"Santana you have to calm down. Just breathe" I hear Quinn say. I can still hear muffled sobs and I'm guessing that's Santana.

"I need to know she's ok Quinn! I need to" Santana yells and she breaks down again. This is weird. It's not her. It never has been. She's always been so strong. Whoever this girl is has had a huge affect on her. Not in a good way though. I don't understand what happened to her. Santana and I we were best friends in Middle School and throughout most of High School, but it was different during those years. We were inseparable and I'm pretty sure almost the entire school thought that we were together. Then my parents took me to London for the entire summer vacation between junior and senior year. I came back the night before we started senior year and I wasn't allowed to go and see Santana. The next day I looked everywhere for her and when I found her I hugged her from behind like we always do…did, this time was different she shrugged me off and told me to get off her. I was so confused and then she started yelling at me calling a dumb bitch and she pushed me on the ground. I didn't know what happened or why. That day I lost my best friend and I met the bully who made that year of my life hell and tortured me and changed me completely. I was bubbly, out going and happy. When the bullying started I became the complete opposite and did some really stupid stuff to get rid of my pain. I never thought I'd see her again. She seems different. I don't know. I don't wanna get my hopes up just for them to come crashing down again. I wouldn't be able to cope. I suddenly feel a breeze against my forearms and I look down, my eyes widening realising I'm wearing a short sleeved t-shirt and so I ran into my room and grabbed the jumper Quinn had given me earlier. I walked back to the door hearing Santana scream at Quinn and Rachel.

This was different. More painful. Gut wrenching. Screams that made your heart break.

"I need her! I need him! I need her here! I need her here so I can see she's ok! I need her. I need her to know I'm different and I'm me again. The me I should've always been!" Santana repeatedly screams

"That's going to take time Santana! I'm sure you can show Brittany that side of you again" What? Me? That's why she's doing this? Holy Crap! I heard footsteps walking towards the door and then they stop. Quinn and Rachel are stood by the door talking.

"Quinn. What do we do? Do we get Brittany?" Rachel says in a hushed tone

"No! Yes! I don't know! Brittany's probably awake I don't know how anyone could sleep through Santana's screams. I just don't know if that'd be a good thing to do not with their history" Quinn whispers.

Screw this.

"Quinn. You're wrong!" I say through the door

"Brittany! What are you doing?!" Quinn angrily whispers

"I've been stood here the whole time! Now are you gonna open this door or not? Surprisingly I miss my San. The REAL Santana. Not the Senior Santana! Something happened that Summer and I want to know what happened so open this fricking door!" I yell and Quinn opens the door with a shocked expression on her face as well as Rachel. I look over to see Santana look up with eyes as wide as gold balls.

"Brittany" She breaks down and I run over to her and clutch her body to mine.

"It's ok San. I know. It's ok. Calm down" I say and I feel her body slowly relax and her tears slowly stop falling. She's ok.

"Santana! We need to sort out what happened. You have to tell me everything otherwise we can't get back to what we had. I need you to trust me enough to tell me. We need to get everything out on the table, I want, no I need my best friend back. So. Quinn! Make coffee! Rachel get food! And Santana get off the floor and get your butt into one of those seats and get ready to tell us everything because I think you owe it to yourself and me. I'll tell you what happened to me because of you and why I'm here. Then we'll see where we are and see what happens! Ok?" I say forcefully

"Ok" Santana whispers pulling herself off the floor and walking past me to her bed, my eyes follow her and she grabs THE stuffed Unicorn. Tears began to group in my eyes, that Unicorn was the one I gave her the first time she came to my house, I told her it would always protect her. I was really trying to say that I'd always protect her.

This should be eventful. I follow Santana, Quinn and Rachel out into the living room where the couch is positioned facing the TV (of course), Quinn and Rachel walk to the kitchen and Santana sits on the love seat whilst I sit on the recliner. Thankfully Quinn and Rachel come back fast otherwise that could've been super weird and awkward. Here goes nothing. I just want my Santana back.

"Well Santana? Please tell us why you became such a bully senior year? You were fine before summer vacation and you came back and you just weren't yourself." Quinn said

"Yeah. Santana you've got some explaining to do. Especially to Brittany!" Rachel piped up

"I know I do! It's just difficult!" Santana yelled and that made my blood boil!

"Difficult?! Fucking difficult! Santana! I was you best friend and over the course of a few months you decided to torture me! Why?! What did I EVER do to you that was so bad? I was there for you! Always was! And you just became a bitch to me for no god damn reason! So Santana tell me! What happened to you to make you such a bitch!?" I yell

"My Dad died." Santana whispers and my world stopped.


	4. 4 She has to come back

*Brittany's POV*

My heart just dropped and now it's resting in my stomach.

"What?" I heard Quinn say. This is ridiculous I can't believe Santana's Dad died.

"My Dad died. It was the day before we started out Senior year and I was so excited because Brit was coming home and usually when Brittany came back she would come straight to mine and we'd talk about what she'd done that holiday. So like normal I was so hyper about it. My mum told me she wasn't coming back until later that evening so I just sat in front of the door, cuddling this fat, over sized unicorn waiting for Brittany. It got to around 8 that night and I knew Brittany should've been here by now but she wasn't so I went into my Dad's study. He turned around in that big leather spinny chair of his and he just looked at me and tears began to fall down my face. He told me that he and I were going to watch our movie that evening…" Santana said. Her body had retreated into itself and she was not cuddling her knees and that fat unicorn.

"What film?" I say in a harsh tone

"Brittany! Have some God damn respect would you?!" Quinn had whipped her head round towards me and was speaking through gritted teeth.

"Sorry. But where's this going Santana?" I asked in a softer tone than before

"The film was Finding Nemo. And don't go laughing at me because my Dad and I had been watching it since it came out. It was our go to movie whenever I was sad or angry. Even heartbroken. Or if he had a bad day at work or something had happened with Mami or his family. This time was different I was so upset, I hadn't stopped crying for about and hour or something ridiculous like that. It's pretty stupid now hey. But because of this my dad decided to get me ice cream from that little convenience store on the corner it should've taken him about 20 minutes to get there and back. But it got to an hour and he wasn't home, the phone began to ring and I just remember watching my Mami break down she was crying hysterically and I ran to her I tried to comfort her, but she wasn't having any of it, then she said those 3 words that changed my life completely, she just whispered Santana, Papi's gone. Being all innocent like I was when it came to my Papi I just asked where and she just told me he'd died. My world was shattered. My idol. The man who meant everything to me was gone." Santana whispered those final words, the tears were falling fast down her face

"How did it happen?" I whispered. Watching my old best friend, the girl i once loved break down in tears was horrible.

"When he got to the store everything was fine. But then an armed gun man came in. My dad tried to grab the gun off him and in doing so he was shot. Multiple times. The gun man he got away, but the police knew who it was." Santana whispered her knuckles were becoming white from the grip she had on he clothed knees

"Santana? Why didn't you tell anyone? Why wasn't this on the news?" Rachel whispered as she held Quinn's hand. I wish I could comfort Santana but I knew it would do no good.

"I couldn't." Santana whispered. Now I was getting angry, not at Santana because I know it wasn't her fault but at myself, the police. Even damn Ice Cream.

"What the hell do you mean you couldn't?" I yelled. She winced at my words. I know it's not going to be simple but I don't just want my San back, I need her back and sometimes the only way to get through to Santana is to get angry at her because it makes her understand you're serious.

"The man who shot my dad was a police officer so they wanted to keep it under wraps as he was one of the best police officers in Lima. I know it's stupid and I should've said something, but I couldn't. And I know you're all thinking well why become a bitch then? I became a bitch because I didn't believe that anything was worth living for so I gave up with caring about people's feeling. And I picked on, no bullied Brittany the worst because I blamed Brittany for my father's death" I swear the anger level just rose.

"What? How could you blame me Santana?! Me! I was your best fucking friend no the god damn gun man who shot your dad! It wasn't my fault! I can't believe you'd blame me!" I stood up and stormed out of the room. I can't even look at her. Yes, I'm angry, but it also hurts to know I got blamed for her fathers death.

 ***Rachel's POV***

"Brittany?" Quinn whispered and followed Brittany. Brittany just stormed out. Oh My Fucking God! Brittany just left.

"Santana? Are you ok?" I whispered as I slowly walked over to the Latina

"No Rachel. I'm really not ok" And that was when I saw Santana slowly crack and break before me. I slid of the couch and walked over to the love seat where she was huddled into her self. She was rocking her body backwards and forwards clutching the stuffed unicorn and I couldn't watch anymore, I wrapped my arms around Santana and held her close until her sobbing subsided.

"Rachel can I continue? Do you think Britt and Quinn will come back and listen to what I have to say?" she whispered against my shoulder.

"I'm sure they will Santana. Do you want me to go and get them?" I asked as I stroked the back of her head

"Please." She whispered as she got up to get a glass of water. I walked over to the door of mine and Q's room. In case you hadn't guessed Quinn and I are together. We've been dating in secret since the summer Britt went to London. I know shocker. We decided to get an apartment together and Santana moved in, now Britt has as well. It's a full house.

I reached my room and heard yelling, it was mumbled, but I could just make out what they were saying.

"Brittany. Just let her explain. Then you can explain everything that happened to you because of Santana and then you can move on!" Quinn yelled

"Move on? MOVE ON? Quinn you don't get it. You were never bullied by Santana" Brittany exclaimed

"But I did watch her do it to you. I know that you want her back Britt. I know you miss the way you guys were. Just give her a chance to explain. Please. If not for her, then for yourself" Quinn said and I heard movement in the room the door swung open and I was face to face with Quinn who had Britt a few centimetres behind her.

"Rach? What're you doing?" Quinn asked

"Santana she wanted you guys to let her finish explaining. Please just give her a chance?" I whispered and then I felt a wind go past me and I saw Britt had gone. I grabbed Quinn's hand and we all headed back into the living room and took our seats again.

 ***Santana's POV***

I'm still sat on the love seat huddled in a ball, salty tear stains plastered across my cheeks. I hate this, but if I want Britt back then I need to tell her everything.

"Well get on with it San-Santana" Brittany says and her little slip up with the nickname gives me the slight bit of hope.

"I blamed you because I thought that if you had of come round that night he wouldn't have gone to the store and he wouldn't have died. So I bullied you to make you feel the same amount of pain I felt. And I know how fucking stupid it was but I didn't think I had any other option. It was the only way I could deal with his death without wanting to die. I didn't know how to deal with it and because of the stupid cops I had no one to talk too, my Mami was messed up, she wasn't dealing with Papi's death at all well. So I was alone. And I should've gotten professional help when it happened. I never did. Even now. I've been having these night terrors for so long they almost became normal, it's not until I moved in with Quinn and Rachel that I realized they weren't normal. The night terrors always start of as dreams, dreams of Brittany and I being happy and having so much fun together, but then I relive that day, the ice cream and finding nemo, Papi not coming home. All of it. That's when I start to wriggle and cry and scream. But it only gets worst when I started thinking about Brittany and everything that happened. That's usually when Quinn or Rach come and wake me up, I can't handle it. I'm just so messed up and I need help, real help. I know what I did was stupid and I had no right to do that to you Britt, especially not when you were the only person who was there for me when I needed someone. Brittany, you were my best friend and I want to get back to where we were. I miss you Brittany and I miss how we were." I tell them, there may have been 3 people in the room with me, but I only cared about 1 persons opinion, Brittany's.

"Santana. I need to tell you about what your actions did to me, I'm doing this to make you upset or angry or anything, I just need you to know, we both need to know. I need to say it out loud and you need to listen. When you began bullying me, that first day, I was heartbroken. It killed me. You pushing me away like that, it's like being shot repeatedly though your heart. Then you started bullying me, and so did many other people because I didn't have you telling anyone who called me stupid to shut up or you'd go all Lima Heights on them. You know how bad it got Santana? How many nights I'd go home after school and get beaten up on the way home? How I began skipping school because it was so bad! How I started to cut myself?" Brittany yelled at me.

"You did what?!" I asked tears beginning to build in my eyes

"I cut myself Santana. I melted the plastic on my razor and took out the blade and then I slit my wrists, I cut ever piece of skin I could find! And now! Now I can't wear t-shirts without feeling self conscious. I can't wear shorts without feeling scared. I'm not the Brittany I was because of you. But that's not the worst part. You know when my parents found out I was gay they kicked me out of the house because I was finally honest with them after all those years of secrets and lies. And that was it, there goes my family. Not just my mom and my dad, my little sister was taken from me, none of my family speak to me anymore. Not one of them, they all blocked me on facebook, mom cut off my debit card, all the money I'd worked so hard for, I spent every week day working at the Lima Bean, every evening working at Breadstix and every weekend helping teach children to dance so I had enough money to buy a plane ticket to NYC. I got that plane and headed to New York, no plan, no money and nowhere to live. I had nothing, so I ended up living on the streets of New York begging people for money I barely had enough money for food and water. I knew that this was how I was going to die and I was ready to die. I wanted to die. I needed to die. Life had nothing left to give me! I had nothing left. The day you found me I hadn't eaten for 3 days maybe 4, I hadn't had much to drink either. So I collapsed on the sidewalk outside your apartment building, I was praying that that was the end, that life would be over. That I wouldn't have to wake up again. But I did, I woke up here. Santana you broke me. And I hated you for what you did to me! I hated you! But you know what pissed me off the most? I never stopped caring about you, I never stopped loving you! And that annoys me the most, because even after everything I'm still that stupid, brainless, bubble head who followed you around like a lost puppy. I'm still that girl who loved you despite everything people said to me. That's still me! And it's not fucking fair Santana!" Brittany yelled

"You know if I could go back I'd change everything that happened between us! Brittany S. Pierce, you know me better than anyone and I know you better than anyone. I need you back Britt. I've missed you more than anything. I've never missed anyone as much as I missed you, I miss my Papi. He's my idol and I know he would be so disappointed in me for what I did to you and made you do. He loved you so much Brittany, you were like his second daughter and I know he would slap me silly, with a fish. I swear to you that I'm never going to hurt you ever again Brittany, you're my best friend and I love you. Give me a chance? Please Brittany." I begged, tears were falling freely and I could see Quinn and Rachel looking between the two of us neither of them knowing what exactly they should do. Then Brittany spoke up.

"I'm sorry Santana. I can't. Not now. I missed you too, but I'm just not ready to forgive you yet. Not after everything that happened. But I love you Santana Lopez. I do. I just can't do this now." Brittany whispers and then she runs out of the apartment.

This time, I know she'll come back. She has to come back.

 _A/N Longer chapter this time because I felt bad for not updating for a while so sorry. Please give me your feedback_


	5. 5 The Notebook, Pizza and Chunky Monkey

***Brittany's POV***

So once again I am walking round the streets of New York, it's beginning to get dark and since the last time, I'm kind of scared to be alone. God! What the hell am I supposed to do? I don't know if I want to go back and see Santana. I don't know if I can deal with that. I love her so much, she's been my best friend for so many years and I do want to get back to where we were, but I meant it when I said I wasn't ready.

At least Quinn and Rachel will be there right?

I walked back towards their apartment, obviously I was walking at a fast pace because I'm still not over what happened. Any who it took some time to get there, it also took music. As I reached the apartment Songbird started playing through my earphones and it felt like I was being stabbed through the heart, this song has always reminded me of Santana and the _thing_ we had. I miss her so much.

Fucking tears.

I got buzzed in and headed up to the apartment, knocking on the door praying Quinn or Rachel would answer. I guess I'll find out because the door just opened and unluckily I was met by brown eyes. Santana. I looked into her eyes and saw that they were puffy and all red, has she been crying?

"Brittany? I didn't know you were coming back" Santana snuffled and wiped ferociously at her eyes

"Sorry. I should've said. Are you ok?" I asked her. "Don't answer that that was a stupid question"

"No Britt its fine. And please don't use that word; I know how much it hurts you!" Santana whispered as she opened the door wider allowing me to walk in, I looked across to the sofa and saw and open copy of The Notebook with a take out pizza box laying on the coffee table next to a melting tub of Chunky Monkey ice cream. She is taking this really hard. The last time I saw her like this was when she was dumped by Puck after she refused to have sex with him, that was also the day she told me she was gay. God I remember she came round at about midnight and she looked terrified, her eyes were black, blood shot and puffy. She'd been balling her eyes out and it was obvious. I took her inside and she told me all about Puck and what he'd tried to do, I honestly thought I was going to explode that day I was so angry. I pulled her into a hug and we just stayed like that until she stopped crying she pulled away from me and I held her cheeks forcing her to look into my eyes, I made sure she was ok by just keeping her close by. That's when she began leaning in and next thing I knew her lips were connected to mine and she was sucking on my bottom lip. Obviously I kissed her back. I felt fireworks and it was the best thing to ever happen to me, but when she pulled away she broke down and told me repeatedly that she was sorry and that she didn't want me to hate her and that she didn't wanna loose me. I just told her to calm down and once she'd done that she told me she was gay and I told her I was too. We both hugged each other so tightly. Then we went to the couch and cuddled whilst balling at The Notebook, eating pizza and chunky monkey. Since then that's what we did when either of us was upset or heartbroken, whatever it was we did that.

So Santana must be heartbroken or really upset about something and I wanna find out.

"Santana. I know you. You only do this when you're upset or heartbroken. Why are you doing this?" I asked her as I followed her into her bedroom

"Leave me alone Brittany" she spat back

"No! Don't start this again Santana! We were both trying to work on what happened and I don't want you to do what you did senior year again" I yelled

"FUCK!" Santana yelled and then she slid her arms across her draws knocking every photo frame to the floor. She started to throw everything around her room whilst screaming. I stood in the door way in shock, she's been like this since the start of Senior year.

I heard thudding coming from her direction and saw her fist colliding with the brick wall repeatedly, her knuckles instantly becoming bloody. She fell to her knees and began to shake and sweat. I ran to grab my phone out of my bag that I'd left on the kitchen counter, once I came back her top and sweat pants were sticking to her skin. Then she looked at me and mouthed "I'm sorry. I love you" and then she fainted.

"Quinn answer your god damn phone!" I yelled down the phone whilst I crouched next to Santana's limp body. She's been out for about half an hour and I've left both Quinn and Rachel over 30 voicemails. Finally the front door opened just as I was about to call for an ambulance.

"QUINN! RACHEL! HELP ME! PLEASE!" I screamed, tears poured down my face and I heard footsteps running towards San's room whilst they shouted my name.

"Brittany? What happened?" Rachel said in a panic while Quinn ran towards Santana.

"I-I-I" I stuttered not knowing what to say or how to say it.

"Come on Britt. Let Quinn help now" Rachel said as she guided me away from Santana and onto her bed.

"Santana. It's ok. You're here. You're safe. Everyone is safe and ok." Quinn hushed Santana

"No Quinn! Don't lie to me! My Papi's gone! My Mami's gone! Brittany's gone! Brittany! Quinn where's Brittany? Is she ok? Is she alive? Is she dead? Where is she Quinn? I need to find her! I need her! I love her! Where did she go? She's safe right?" Santana yelled while she frantically looked around the room searching for me, I tried to step forward and go closer to her, but a small arm was holding me back.

"Rachel let me go." I said

"No. Brittany, I don't think that it's a good idea for you to go to her right now!" Rachel told me and then I pushed her away and ran over to where Santana and Quinn were.

Santana was struggling under Quinn's hold, she was not happy. "Santana? I'm here. I'm ok. I'm alive. I'm not dead. I'm here. You already found me Santana. You need me, I need you and I love you too! I didn't leave you, I never left you. I'm safe as long as I'm here" I told her as I slowly knelt down to her and put my hands on her face.

"Brittany? You're here! You're safe!" Santana whispered, her hands slowly coming up to cup my cheeks as if I was a glass girl.

"I'm here Santana I'm here" I whispered. Tears began to fall from both of our eyes and both of us just kept staring into each other eyes holding each others cheeks. This is where I belong with Santana. But it doesn't change what happened between us in Senior Year. I think I'm going to take Santana to counselling, both of us together to get out everything we'd been through. By now Quinn had slipped away and was holding Rachel in her arms while Santana and I entwined our hands and without thinking I leaned in and pressed my lips against Santana's.

Worth it?

Hell yes.

I felt a pair of soft lips enclose over my upper lip. Our lips moved together like they belonged upon each other. You know when you see and old friend after a long time and you get that funny feeling in your stomach like a mix of nerves and excitement? That's what was happening right now. I felt Santana's tongue swipe along my bottom lip and a soft moan escaped from me allowing her tongue to collide with mine. This is it. Heaven.

Then we heard coughing and we both pulled away as quickly as we possibly could, Santana's eyes were as wide as a rabbit caught in headlights. Quinn and Rachel were smirking at each other and I felt my cheeks become red. Great, what I needed.

"I-I-I I gotta gay! Go! Go I gotta go!" I stuttered and then ran out of the room slamming the door to my room shut, I leaned my head against the back of the door and brought my hand up to my lips. A smile planted upon my face.

"Woah" I whispered.


	6. 6 Falling For You

***Quinn's POV***

Santana, Rachel and I are still in the room. I can't believe what just happened, Brittany and Santana kissed. THEY KISSED! But Brittany ran away. God this is crazy. We should probably check on Santana because if we're shocked then she must be too.

"Santana? Are you ok?" I whisper in order for me not to shock her. We've been so quiet for so long. When Santana doesn't reply I give Rachel a look and she gets up and heads to Brittany's room. I have no idea what I do or say now, thank god for Santana.

"Quinn. What just happened?" Santana said, her head was still facing Brittany's door, her eyes wide.

"I believe you and Brittany kissed." I tell her

"God Q! What have I done? What do I do? Do I talk to her? Ask her about it?" Santana began to freak out, she was pacing up and down the length of the room.

"Santana you need to calm down" I say, but she just kept pacing, great, so now we have a run away Brittany and a panicky Santana.

"SANTANA!" I yell as I walk over to her and grab her arms "It'll all be ok. Just let Rachel talk to Britt and then we'll go from there ok? Now would you please just calm the fuck down." I tell her, she tries to speak. That's not happening! "Nope. Go, sit on the couch. Try to write a song or something?!" I suggest

"Ok. Hey Q? Thank you" she says and I nod to her. I grab her acoustic guitar and hand it to her. Then walk away and towards Brittany's room.

I lightly knock on the door before opening it and stepping in. Rachel is sat on Brittany's bed and Britt is stood near the window facing away from the door I'd just entered through.

"She's been like that since I entered here. She hasn't said a word and I think she may've gone into a state of shock, Quinn what do we do?" Rachel asks and Brittany doesn't even flinch, I think she needs some time alone and Santana needs to get some fresh air or maybe she just needs to get away from this apartment.

"Britt?" I walked over to her and gently placed my hand on her shoulder to take away the shock, she still jumped but only slightly.

"Hey Quinn, Rach, sorry I was kind of out of it then" She said putting on a fake smile

"Britt. Rachel, Santana and I have band practice" I tell her, she kind of looks relieved

"We do?" Rachel pipes up from the corner of the room, I whip my head around and glare at her. Thanks Rach. Thanks a lot.

"Yes. We do." I speak through gritted teeth and then turn back to Brittany "So you're gonna be alone for a few hours. That ok?" I ask

"Um yeah. That's fine, actually I think that's really great" She smiles and you can see her face relax.

"Alright. Well we're gonna head out now, so we'll see you later. Oh and Britt, make sure you eat something" I smile as she nods and I drag Rachel out of the room closing the door behind us.

"Santana! Come on, we're going to practice!" I tell her, she just nods and grabs her note pad as well as her bass which (lucky) was already in it's case. We head out and walk to studio.

Turns out Santana had written some great songs recently.

"Hey Santana?" I call out to her from the other side of the studio

"What's up Q?" She said as she was re tuning her bass for this next song

"When did you write these songs?" I asked her and she looked down and paused her tuning and sighed

"Yeah. No offence San, but these songs sound really happy and the stuff you normally write however good it is, it's usually a bit depressing" Rachel tells her

"I wrote these Junior year." Santana whispered

"San? Are these about…" Rachel asked but was cut off by Santana

"Can we just rehearse? Please?" She said

"Sure" Rach and I said.

These songs were really happy, but a lot of them seemed to be about falling in love, I think they're about Brittany. I honestly think Santana was in love with Brittany, maybe she still is. There's a song she wrote called 'Fallin' For You' and it's basically about Brittany.

 _You like mismatched socks with polka dots_

 _You like your pizza cold; I think that's hot_

 _You like to swim at night when the moon is full_

 _You think that makes you strange; I think that's cool_

Since Rachel and I didn't know the song we got Santana to sing it. As soon as the song started I think both Rachel and I realized who this was about, we looked at one another as we played. Santana was stood at the microphone in the middle of the stage whilst Rach and I were on her right and left sides.

 _And you say you're scared_

 _That I won't be there_

 _Baby, I swear_

 _I'm not going anywhere_

You could tell Santana was focused so hard on the song that it almost seemed like she'd forgotten that Rachel and I were near by playing with her.

 _You can change your hair_

 _Five times a week_

 _You can change your name_

 _Get a little bit crazy_

 _You can dance in the rain_

 _Rockin' secondhand chic_

 _But I live for the day_

 _That I'm_ _ **calling you baby**_

 _'Cause I'm falling for you_

 _For everything that you do_

 _Baby, I'm falling for you_

 _You might be crazy_

 _But baby,_

 _I'm falling for you_

By the end of the chorus Santana had her eyes tightly closed, it was obvious she was thinking about all of her memories with Britt. I honestly don't know who I feel worst for, Brittany or Santana. It's honestly terrifying how much they need each other, but at the same time both of them are hurting and it's awful because they're hurting because of each other and also for each other.

 _I seem predictable, vanilla plain._

 _And all the mannequins they look the same._

 _There's no one else like you one of a kind._

 _And I'm a_ _ **lucky girl**_ _'cause_ _ **you're all mine**_ _._

 _And you say, you're scared_

 _That I won't be there_

 _ **Baby**_ _, I swear_

 _I'm not going anywhere_

Hold up. Did Santana just sing Lucky GIRL cause you're ALL MINE?! Were her and Brittany together?! I look over to Rachel and mouth "Lucky Girl?!" she shrugs and continues to play.

 _You can change your hair_

 _Five times a week_

 _You can change your name_

 _Get a little bit crazy_

 _You can dance in the rain_

 _Rockin' secondhand chic_

 _But I live for the day_

 _That I'm_ _ **calling you baby**_

 _'Cause I'm_ _ **falling for you**_

 _For everything that you do_

 _Baby, I'm falling for you_

 _You might be crazy_

 _But baby,_

 _I'm falling for you_

Santana suddenly stopped playing. She stopped playing, singing and her face fell. Tears were running down her face and she was silent. She grabbed hold of her bass strap and held the bass by it's neck and ran past me handing her bass to me. I grabbed it allowing her to run out of the studio and onto the street. I sigh and look at Rachel.

"Rach? Should we follow her? Or pack up and go home?" I ask her hoping she'll know what to do

"Well knowing Santana she'll probably go to the library and then home. So I think we should just pack up, she needs time alone. Quinn, I think that song was about Brittany" Rachel said and I just nodded in agreement

"I think they were together Rach, but we're not gonna know unless we ask, Santana won't tell us a thing right now. I know that. So we need to go and ask Brittany" I tell her whilst I shut Santana's bass case and place my guitar in it's own case. I grab both cases and walk towards the exit of the building, I heard Rachel yelling telling me to wait, but I couldn't. Not now when I'm not going to have much time to talk to Brittany before Santana comes back! This can't wait!

We got back to the apartment and as we were running up the hallway towards our door we heard drumming. And not just like a child hitting a drum kit, no. Actual drumming. To a rhythm and doing it well! This drumming was coming from inside our apartment and unless we had a really bad robber who just wanted to play drums then it had to be once person. Brittany. I put my key in the door and opened it quietly telling Rachel to be quiet as I reached for her hand and pulled her along the hall way to our music room. I reached down, twisted the door handle and pushed the door open. There sat at our drum kit was Brittany. She was putting her life and soul into hitting those drums. She was amazing.

"Brittany?" Rachel whispered. She dropped her drum sticks and twisted her body so fast I thought she was going to break.

"Sorry, I-I-I just saw them here and I couldn't stop myself. I'm really sorry." Brittany rushed her words out so fast I hardly knew what she had said

"Britt. It's fine! You're amazing! You're like one of the best drummers I think I've ever heard" Rachel says with a huge smile on her face. God she's cute. What if? No she'd never say yes. But what's the harm in asking.

"Be our drummer" I say interrupting both Rachel and Brittany

"What?" Brittany asks

"Be the drummer. In our band. We need one. And you're amazing. You know us, all of us. You'd be a great addition. We could really use someone as talented as you Britt" I tell her

"I don't think that's a good idea Quinn. Not with Santana" She tells me

"About that. Brittany. In Junior year what was going on between you and Santana?" Rachel asked

"What? Nothing! Why would you ask that?" She practically yells

"Oh come on Brittany. Today in rehearsals Santana showed us a song she wrote during Junior year. Everything she'd written was you and stuff you like!" I told her

"What'd you mean?" Brittany looked at me almost like I had 2 heads or something

"Brittany answer these questions. Do you mismatched socks with polka dots?" Rachel said and I couldn't help but giggle and neither could Brittany

"Well yeah. But what does that have to do with any of this?" Britt said whilst her giggles died down

"Doesn't matter. Do you like your pizza cold?" I now understand what she's doing. These are the lyrics to that song San wrote

"Well duh! Cold pizza is way better than hot pizza. Everybody knows that!" Brittany said rolling her eyes. She did spend a lot of time with Santana didn't she!

"Brittany. In junior year were you worried that Santana wasn't going to be there? Almost scared?" I asked and Brittany looked at me as tears pooled in her eyes.

"Yes. The summer between sophomore year and junior year Santana and I spent everyday together. One day she left me to hang out with Puck, I was jealous because they were together. That evening my parents went out to some sort of comedy show, so I was gonna order pizza and eat ice cream. Then I got a knock on the door, it was Santana, she had tears cascading down her face. I brought her inside and asked her what was wrong. She said Puck tried to force her to have sex with him but she didn't want to because she wasn't in love with Puck. She was in love with someone else. I comforted her and she said 3 words that changed how I felt about her forever. She literally said Brittany I'm gay and then broke down in my arms. It was funny because she didn't know that I was too. It took her at least half and hour to calm down and once she did I just whispered me too. She looked at me, her eyes were so dark. She looked even more beautiful than normal. She reached up and stroked a piece of my hair away from my face she leaned in and kissed me. Honestly it felt like I was in heaven. It was like every single moment of my life hadn't been good enough as I'd never done this before. I fell in love with Santana from that minute. I loved her before but I never was IN love with her. That night we sat and cuddled on the sofa eating pizza, ice cream and watching the Notebook, we shared more kisses each time we met up. It was August 18th when I asked her to be my girlfriend and thankfully she said yes. Santana and I were together throughout Junior year, that's why it hurt so much more when senior year began. I was in love with her. I needed her the way the stars need the moon. I loved her to the moon and back. She was my first kiss, my first time, my first love. Santana was everything to me and senior year broke my heart because I was missing part of it, I've felt like I wasn't able to breathe for so long and then she came back. The light from my world became lighter. My breathing became stronger because she was here. I've never stopped loving her and it terrifies me because I don't know how much more time I can take without breaking down and telling her that I need her, want her, can't be without her. Quinn, Rachel, she's my everything. My rock. My world. I'm in love with her" Brittany tells us and suddenly the door to the music room closes.

Santana walked into the room with tears in her eyes. Santana Lopez was crying. Big shocker. "I'm in love with you too Brittany. You mean everything to me. I'm sorry about everything I did to you, you know I never meant to hurt you. Please just listen to me. When my Papi died I thought I was dead. The light had gone, but I knew you were still there. You keep the light in my world B. You always have, I hurt you to punish myself because hurting you hurt me so much more than anything I could ever do to myself. I tried so many things to join my dad, I tried to hang myself but my Mami found me to soon. Because of that I missed 2 weeks of school and I had to go to therapy. I drank a bottle of bleach, this time my Abuela found me she called the ambulance. I had my stomach pumped and missed 3 weeks of school. I was going to jump off the top of McKinley High School, but Mr Schue stopped me before I had a chance to. I've done so many things to try and loose my life, but they never worked, someone was always there to stop me. Honestly I think it was my Papi protecting me. But he didn't just do it for me, he did it for you too Britt. He knew I needed you and you needed me. I think he knew we were together even though we never told him. He loved you. He loved how you made me smile everyday, the way you made me a different person. But then he left. But my feelings for you never changed. I punished you in order for me to punish myself. But Britt, I've changed. I'm different now, better. I may not be complete yet, but I don't think I'll ever be complete without you by my side. I need you too breathe. I need you to hold me when I cry because the only person I feel safe with is you. You are the only person I have ever wanted to be with. You were my best friend, girlfriend and the only person my heart belonged too. All of those are still what I want, but I know now more than ever that I belong with you. Brittany, you are my soul mate. It's just taken me a while to work it out. I'm in love with you Brittany. Please give me one more chance. I'm a changed woman. I'm not a child anymore. And one day I'm going to get you to forgive me and then we'll live happily ever after, you'll be my wife" Santana whispered those last bits.

"You remember that time when we'd just got together? We went into the photobooth and you looked into my eyes and I looked back and you kissed me and told me you loved me? I do. And I've still got my copy of those photos. The entire time I was living on the streets I kept it with me. I kept YOU with me Santana. Because no matter how hard I try I can never stop loving you." Brittany told Santana. Brittany walked across to Santana with a smile on her face, Santana was crying, tears falling down her face onto her top, Brittany used the pad of her thumb to wipe away Santana's tears.

Next thing I knew Brittany was leaning in and her lips connected to Santana's. It wasn't a heated kiss, but it was so intimate. You could feel the love radiating from both of there bodies. Rachel and I looked at each other and I grabbed her hand, I brought it up to my lips and placed a gentle kiss against her knuckled.

Santana pulled away.

"Is that a yes?" She whispered, her forehead resting against Brittany's

"Yes. I'll try to forgive you Santana. But it's going to be a long time before you have my full trust again. But I love you. I love you so much. Forever" Brittany told her and the tears fell from both of the girls as they placed their lips upon one another, this kiss wasn't as PG as the other one, but still the intimacy level was extremely high.

They're in love.

Always have been.

Always will be.

 _ **A.N. I'm really sorry! I haven't updated for ages (or at least it feels like it) I tried to make this chapter much longer than the others because I felt bad. Hope you enjoy it. The song used was Fallin' For You by R5. And I appreciate all the feedback I'm being given, keep it coming please. I'm going away on Saturday but I'll try to update before I leave, Love you guys!**_


	7. Clearing up a few things

Ok so I got a review from a Guest asking me about a few things that really need clarifying. So here you go.

Santana's Dad died the day before they started Senior Year of High School.

Santana started bullying Brittany the day they started Senior Year

In Middle School Santana and Brittany became best friends, but then in High School (Junior Year) they were girlfriends. They got together the summer in between Sophomore year and junior year (so they were both 16)

The Puck thing and their kiss happened around the end of July/beginning of August. Neither of them were to young to have sex (hence why Puck was trying it on with Santana)

Brittany came out to her parents 3 years after the end of Senior Year at the age of 21. Her parents kicked her out September and she'd been living on the streets for 4 months before Santana, Quinn and Rachel found her.

Before Brittany moved to New York and was kicked out she had a bunch of part time jobs in order for her to get money for a plane ticket and food. She worked at the Lima Bean Mon-Fri during the day. She worked at Breadstix Mon-Sat at night and taught kids how to dance during the day on Sat and Sun. She knew her parents would kick her out as they were very homophobic anyway.

I'm not excusing Santana's behaviour because of her Dad's death. Neither is Santana, Brittany, Quinn or Rachel. But they are trying to move past it. If you give me time I'll show you how it still affects all 4 of them.

Santana bullied Brittany for 1 academic year.

I'm adding more flashbacks of how Santana's behaviour affected Brittany so you'll see it from her POV

Santana does have serious problems, both physically and mentally. I'll go into more detail about that soon and she will get help for both.

Just stick with it and you'll find out. Pinky promise!

And thanks for the reviews :D


	8. 7 If Only

***Santana's POV***

It's the morning after Brittany forgave me. And honestly I feel on top of the world! I actually woke up with a smile on my face. My eyes widen as I realise something, I hop out of bed and run out of my room and into the kitchen. Quinn, Rachel and Brittany all turn to me and give me confused looks, as I'm running in my socks I skid past them when I try to stop, I chance a glance at Brittany and she giggles at me

"Santana are you ok?" Quinn asks me

"I didn't have a nightmare" I whisper

"What?" the three of them question me with smirks on their face

"I DIDN'T HAVE A NIGHTMARE!" I yell as I begin jumping up and down

"Oh my god, Santana!" Quinn and Rachel run over to me and the 3 of us begin to jump up and down in a circle. Once we stop jumping up and down I look over to Brittany, she's got the biggest smile on her face and she's looking at me with those puppy dog eyes. I slowly release my hold of Quinn and Rachel and walk over to Brittany.

"Hey." I whisper

"Hey" She copies and looks into my eyes, her blue eyes sparkle as she leans in and plants a kiss upon my lips. It was short, sweet and romantic.

"I'm so happy right now" I whisper against her lips and she smiles at me, it feels like it's just her and I in the room, until I hear a cough coming from behind me, Brittany grins and I turn my head to see Quinn and Rachel holding hands and smiling at the 2 of us.

"What?" I ask them

"Come on. We have a band rehearsal to get too. Lets move it!" Quinn tells us

"Wait." I say as I turn back to Brittany "Sorry Britt, we have to go" I feel bad for leaving her

"What are you talking about? I'm coming with you silly" She says and winks at me

"What? Wait? What?" I ask looking from Brittany to Quinn and back to Brittany "What're you talking about?"

"Santana, meet our new drummer, Miss Brittany S. Pierce" Rachel smirks. Did I just hear her right

"w-w-w-what?" I manage to stutter out

"Santana? I'm the new drummer, Quinn and Rachel found me drumming yesterday and asked me to join the band so I said yes because I love drumming just as much as I love to dance. Is that ok?" Brittany tells me

"Yes! Yeah of course Britt! That's amazing!" I yell as I go to her and hug her tightly

"San! Go get your bass!" Quinn yells and I pull away from Brittany and glare at Quinn who smirks back at me. I go to the music room and grab my bass placing it gently in the case, I seal the case and double check it, you can never be too sure. I pick it up and walk to the door grabbing my leather coat on the way, I reach the door and walk past Quinn and Rachel out of the door reaching out for Brittany's hand on the way, suddenly I'm being pulled back into the apartment by the blue eyed girl.

"What is it beautiful?" I whisper as I brush her fringe out of her eyes, she's wearing a black beanie hat which is hiding her blonde mane. She's got one of my New York Yankees jerseys on underneath Quinn's old, thick black winter coat.

"3 things. 1. You forgot a scarf" She says as she wraps one around my neck, "2. You forgot your Yankees hat" she tells me as she puts one of my many Yankee baseball hats upon my head, this one is a white hat with a black rim and the logo in black. You see it's extremely rare that I ever go out without a hat, don't ask me why, it's just a thing I do. I have a closet dedicated to hats. Beanies, snapback, fancy hats, you name it I've got it. Anyway back to Britt. " And 3. You forgot this" She leans in and kisses me. Yep. Definitely needed that.

"Thank you" I say once we pull away from the kiss, she grabs my free hand and we walk out of the apartment and head to band practice.

 ***Brittany's POV***

So at the minute things between Santana and I are great, I just don't know how long they'll last like this, yes I may have forgiven her, but that doesn't mean I've stopped thinking about what happened. Just because I've forgiven her it doesn't erase everything she did, it did permanent damage and I know before we can get to a serious place we need to have a talk about it.

Anyway.

We got to the place where they rehearse and I see a beautiful drum kit! This should be awesome!

"Ok what're we running first? Rach, San?" Quinn asked the 2 girls

"Well I've got a new song that I think would be pretty awesome to try out and I think that it'll be easier to start of with the four of us trying to play a new song that none of us are that familiar with than trying to teach Britt songs we already know backwards" Santana says

"Britt? You up for that?" Rachel asks as she grabs her guitar and plugs it into the amp while Santana and Quinn did the same thing with their guitar and bass. I took a seat behind the drum kit and placed my feet on the peddles. Just breathe and play Brittany.

"Hey. You ready?" Santana says as she stands in front of the drum kit I'm currently positioned behind

"Yeah I'm ready, just nervous I guess" I mumble

"Why are you nervous? From what Q and Rach have said you're amazing Britt!" she tells me and it makes me smile shyly.

"I just don't wanna disappoint anyone" I whispered

"Hey. If you get worried just look at me, ok?" Santana says just before she walks back to where her mic stand is. She takes a breath in and turns around to wink at me.

Quinn begins to play the opening tab that Santana had created and I knew I was ready.

Santana began to play her bass line and just as she began the drum beat kicked in, I felt my heart hammering in my chest as I hit the hi-hat and snare. My right foot was working the bass drum and my left holding up the hi-hat.

And then Santana began to sing.

 _Thought that I was going crazy_

 _Just having one those days yeah_

 _Didn't know what to do_

 _Then there was you_

 _And everything went from wrong to right_

 _And the stars came out and filled up the sky_

 _The music you were playing really blew my mind_

 _It was love at first sight_

 _'cause baby when I heard you_

 _For the first time I knew_

 _We were meant to be as one_

 _Was tired of running out of luck_

 _Thinking 'bout giving up yeah_

 _Didn't know what to do_

 _Then there was you_

 _And everything went from wrong to right_

 _And the stars came out and filled up the sky_

 _The music you were playing really blew my mind_

 _It was love at first sight_

 _'cause baby when I heard you_

 _For the first time_

 _I knew we were meant to be as one_

 _And everything went from wrong to right_

 _And the stars came out and filled up the sky_

 _The music you were playing really blew my mind_

 _It was love at first sight_

We played the whole song effortlessly, just as Rachel finished strumming the last chord we heard claps coming from the door to the room. Santana took a step forward

"Who the hell are you?" She gritted her teeth as she spoke

"Me? Well, I'm the person who was told about this amazing band with no name who practices here every other day. I heard that song you guys were playing and they were right, you are extremely talented and you're all good looking too" she says as she winks at Santana, that makes me angry so I stand from my seat and walk towards Quinn, Rachel and San who are stood facing the woman at the door. I got a good look at her this time, her hair was purple but kind of a dark purple so it looked pretty awesome. She had these bright green eyes that really popped and she was wearing a simple t-shirt with jeans and converse.

"Anyway, my name is Mal and I own the record label If Only." She tells us with a smirk and my eyes widen.

"Wait, isn't that the label that signed Madonna, Maroon 5, Usher and Katy Perry?!" I question her and when she nods I look at Santana who's eyes are as large as an Japanese anime characters

"Yep! We signed them and now, we want to sign you!" She says smiling at the four of us

"WHAT?!" We all yell in unison

"You want to sign us? Like give us a record deal?" Santana asks

"Yeah. We actually wanted you to hopefully record and album and release it by June next year and considering it's December now, you've got about 6 months to write, record and promote your album. How does that sound?" She asks us

"Fucking amazing!" Santana shouts in a joyous way making us laugh

"Well, come on over to the If Only building in a hour and we'll draw up a contract." She tells us before shaking our hands and heading out!

"That just happened right? We just got offered a record deal?" Rachel asks

"WE JUST GOT OFFERED A RECORD DEAL!" Santana yells and the 4 of us begin to jump up and down, we pull away from our circular hug and I grab Santana by the waist and dip her bringing my lips onto hers. God her lips feel so good against mine. I swear our lips are two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle that just fit together perfectly. I lift her back up and she pulls away smiling.

"We're gonna be recording artists!" She whispers

"I know" I whisper back


	9. 8 Contract

***Quinn's POV***

I can't believe that we just got a recording contract! I'm still in a daze when we leave to go and meet Mal. We head to If Only studios, luckily it's only a 10 minute ride on the subway so it didn't take us long to get there. We climbed the steps up to the doors of the studio and I went to open it, just as my hand reached the handle I paused.

"Q? Come on. Open the door. I'm cold" Santana grumbled

"I just want us to remember this moment. Remember how hard we worked to get here. Remember how no matter what we went through we still showed up to rehearsal. I'm so proud of us. Even you Britt who only joined the band yesterday" I giggled. I took a deep breath in and opened the door. The four of us walked into the reception area and went up to the front desk.

"Hi, Mal told us to come and meet her in her office" I speak to the receptionists back, when she turns around we're all shocked at who we see.

"Tina? Is that you?" Rachel steps closer to the desk

"Oh my God, Rachel! I haven't seen you in years!" Tina says with a smile plastered on her face.

"If it isn't miss Tina Cohen Chang herself!" I smile at the girl who comes out from behind the desk and hugs Rachel

"Nice too see you too Quinn, oh and it's just Tina Chang now" She says as she goes over to hug me.

"Wait what? You and Mike got married?" Rachel questions and Tina shows us the ring, we squealed in excitement or at least Rachel and I did. Then Tina noticed the other two, she slowly took one step past Rachel and I

"Santana?" She looked straight at the Latina

"Tina. Wow. Umm I-I-I" Santana stuttered

"It's been a long time, I'm glad you're ok." Tina said and the Latina pulled her into a tight hug. Brittany was stood starring at the gigantic bear hug that was going on between the 2 girls. Once they pulled away Tina went over to Brittany and hugged her, they both giggled about how good they both look.

"What are you guys doing here anyway?" Tina asked us

"Well, Mal came to our band practise earlier today and she said that If Only was interested in us, so we're here to sign papers and start a career in the music industry" I smiled proudly

"Holy crap! That's amazing! I'm so proud of you! I'll just call Mal down ok?" Tina said before walking back behind the desk and calling Mal down into the reception.

5 minutes later, the purple haired girl walked out of the lift and beckoned us over. Rachel jumped up and walked over to Mal as quickly as possible, the three of us followed laughing at Rachel. We got up to Mal's office and she opened the door, to our surprise their was a man about our age sat in the chair in front of a recording booth with the most amazing recording equipment in front of him. Then he turned around.

"Sam?" the 4 of us yelled at the same time

"Hey girls." He smirks at us

"What the hell are you doing trouty?" Santana growled at Sam.

"Santana calm down" I whispered to her

"Well. I'm a producer now and I wanted a new girl band, I sent Mal out to find a new sound and she found you." He said as he swayed his chair from side to side "It's good to see you all"

"Bullshit. Senior year Sam, it's still there in the back of our minds. I was so mad at the beginning of that year and you took advantage of my misery and got me to start bullying people that I love and I actually care about. You were an awful person and I doubt you've changed. You wanted to hurt Brittany because she rejected you and you just wanted to hurt her. I hurt her and I know how messed up that was because she's perfect in every way, but I hurt her because I thought she hurt me. It took me an entire year of bullying for me to come to my senses and by then it was too late." Santana said and we all looked shocked

"Brittany? Did you know about that?" Rachel turned to Brittany and asked her.

"No. I remember rejecting Sam because I wasn't nor have I ever been attracted to him. So I refused to go on a date with him. But I didn't know that he started Santana's bullying." Brittany whispered.

"Look. I know what I did was wrong and I know you might not believe me, but I have changed and I'm different. My father owns this recording studio and he gave me an internship as soon as I graduated, I've worked my way up through the company gaining more skills and now I'm a music producer. You know that last Maroon 5 song? Sugar? Well I was the producer of that record, it was like a test run and since it turned out so well and did really well I've been granted permission to find something new and get and album ready for them. So I sent Mal out and she was told about you. And now here you are." Sam grinned

"So what you're saying is you want to give us a record deal? Correct?" I asked him

"Well yeah. It'll be great. And I promise that as soon as you don't like something I do outside of the studio so basically in personal lives then you can ditch me and get another producer to work on your album. Sound good?" Sam looked at us whilst twiddling his pen between his fingers.

"Yes" Rachel and I replied instantly

"Sure" Brittany then replied. The 3 of us looked at Santana, we were just waiting for her to agree

"Fine. But I mean it Evans, 1 thing and I swear to god I will shove that pen so far up your ass…"

"Ok Santana" I quickly cut her off

"Mal, get the contract for me would you? Thank you" Sam tells Mal and she walks out of the room. She comes back just a few minutes later, contract in hand. WE need someone to look over this.

"Hang on, I need to talk to my lawyer about this. I'll be back in one moment." I grab the contract and head out the room. I grab my phone and made a phone call

"Quinn, how're you? Are you ok?" He asked as he answered

"Mr Schue, Hi, everyone is fine. Santana, Rachel and Brittany. We're all ok. But I was wondering if you could look over a contract that we need to sign with Sam Evans for a recording contract. Could I send you pictures of it and you tell me what we should do?" I asked him

"Yeah sure Quinn. That's fine" He tells me and I thank him whilst I hang up the phone and send through the pictures of the contract. A couple of minutes later, it was probably 10 to be honest. I got a reply from Mr Schue telling me it was fine and so I took it back into the studio and we signed it.

"Well, welcome to If Only studios girls" Sam said to the 4 of us "First things first, we need a name"

"Hot Bitches or Hot Messes" Santana stated

"No San" Brittany said

"What about The Unholy Trinity?" I asked

"Quinn, there are 4 of us" Brittany stated

"Gold Stars!" Rachel exclaimed

"No Rachel! That's a terrible name" Brittany said "What about Worldwide?"

"Yes" Mal said "That's awesome. Well done Britt"

Hold up. Did she just wink at Brittany? She did!

"Anyway! Next thing how do you want to write the songs? Want someone to write them for you? Do you want to write them or have a co-writer?" Sam asked us and we all looked at Santana

"Well I've written all of the stuff we've done so far and I've got some songs I haven't shown the rest of them. So I think for our first album we should write all the music. But it's a group vote" Santana told us

"No San, we trust your judgement. We'll write our own stuff." I said and Britt and Rach nodded in agreement "Sam? Can we tell our families and stuff?"

"Oh yeah sure that's fine. We'll begin recording in 2 weeks, it'll give you time to practice and write. Well, this was a lovely catch up and I can't wait to work with you guys, but I need to get back to my work. I'll see you all later. Goodbye." Sam said and we were lead to the door "Goodbye Brittany" He said as we left the room.

He likes Brittany still.

As we walked back to the subway entrance Rachel began to speak

"You know what we should do? Go back to Lima, see our families and go back to Glee Club, tell everyone about our contract" She's beaming with excitement, I know she just wants to see her dads it's very sweet.

"I'm up for it" I tell her and she kisses my cheek

"I love you Q" She whispers

"I love you too" I reply and we share a sweet smile then we turn to Santana and Brittany

"You up for it? Trip to Lima?" I ask them

"Sure. It'll be nice to see Mami, I think she needs it especially as it's coming up to Christmas" Santana says and I nod

"Britt? What about you? Want to come back to Lima with us?" Rachel asks her

"Umm, there's nothing really left for me in Lima. No parents remember, just Glee Club. I don't have enough money for a hotel or anything. And I don't have the cash to pay for a plane ticket" Brittany tells us with a sad tone in her voice

"Hey" Santana goes and holds Brittany's hand "I'll pay for your ticket. And you can stay with me. No buts Britt, it's the least I can do. Plus I think my mami misses having people round. She loved you like another daughter. Please?"

"Ok. But only if you'll take me to see your Papi." Brittany said as we got onto the Subway train.

Santana stood on the platform in shock and the train left without her.


	10. 9 December 19th

***Santana's POV***

What? Did Britt just ask me that?

"Brittany. I can't do that" I whisper

"Why not? What's wrong with me wanting to see him?" Brittany questions. I can see the disappointment in her eyes.

"Britt, I'm sorry. There's nothing wrong with it, but I haven't been to my Papi's grave. Not once, never. Mami went a few times but I never did!" I stare at my feet on the sticky, dirty subway cart floor. The subway stopped minutes later, no one said a word, I ran off the subway and out onto the street. I ran. I don't actually have any idea why I ran, but I did. I headed to Central Park and just walked.

I guess everything just came flooding back, again. I just needed to be alone.

 ***Brittany's POV***

It's now midnight and Santana still isn't home. Quinn's had to stop me from calling the police because I was so worried about Santana. She could be lying in an alleyway somewhere, she could've been raped or murdered or something even worst! Rachel was going to go out and look for her, but Quinn told her not to. She said (and I quote) it's too late, we'll look first thing tomorrow. Stupid bitch won't let me look for San every time I've tried to run to the door she's taken me down like tackled me to the ground! She's kind of evil. Quinn was resting with her head over the back of the sofa, her eyes were closed so I made a break for it. I ran towards the door when I heard footsteps behind me.

"Nooooo" Quinn yells and it was almost like a slow motion scene from a movie, Quinn jumped onto the sofa and bounced onto my back. We were screaming at each other as we rolled on the ground like wild dogs trying to get to the door first. I squirmed out of Quinn's reach and ran to the door flinging it open only to find the person I'd wanted to search for. And with that I smacked her in the face.

"Ouch! Britt! What the hell?" Santana squealed

"You left! You've been gone for hours! Oooo I am so angry at you Santana Diabla Lopez!" I yell at her

"I brought Chinese food" Santana says holding up a bag of Chinese food!

"Diabla?" I turn my neck and see Rachel and Quinn giggling!

"Shut up Q" Santana yells her cheeks blushing slightly when she throws a pillow from the sofa at Quinn.

"San! That hurt!" Quinn fake cries

"Nice one San! You hurt my girl!" Rachel faked being angry

"Bullshit! Now are we gonna eat this Chinese food yes or no?" Santana laughed

"Santana! No! You can't just distract us with Chinese food! Why did you run off like that?" I said as I followed her through to the kitchen "You can't just not tell me about it! We said no secrets!" I yell and she stops

"Santana, you ran off and didn't tell anyone where you were going, where did you go?" I ask her and she just looks at me with sadness in her eyes

"I went to um, I went to" She begins to stutter, god what is wrong with Santana Lopez these days? "I went to the ld movie theatre that's just a few blocks from here. Nobody really knows that it exists just enough people know to keep the place running, they were showing It's a Wonderful Life in black and white on the big screen! It's the best Christmas movie I've ever seen and it made me think about how special life is and how you shouldn't take it for granted because everyday s a gift. I remember the first day we met. You were sa on the swings and Noah Puckerman came behind you along with Finn Hudson and they told you that stupid people weren't allowed to go on the swings, you started to cry and I came over and pushed the boys down yelling at them about how special you are! I didn't even know you. We were friends ever since" Santana giggled "I knew I loved you from that very moment" Santana walked over to me and grabbed my hands

"Santana, you know that I remember that story, but Santana you have to stop running away from me when you don't like what I'm saying, you need to let me in Santana otherwise this, us, it's never going to work." I tell her

"I know that now Britt and I want to do everything I can to make this work starting with our trip to Lima. I'm going to take you to see my Papi and I'm going to tell you the story of Senior year. I'm in love with you Brittany and I wanna spend the rest of my life with you because you are my soul mate" She whispers and the tears glide down my cheeks as I lean in to kiss her.

"You're really going to take me to see your Papi?" I asked her my forehead was resting against hers and we were looking into each others eyes

"Yes and at that Glee club reunion I'm going to tell them all what happened and ask for their forgiveness, but I want you guys by my side. I wanna walk in holding your hand Britt and I want Q and Rach to be walking beside us. Strength in numbers you know?" Santana turned to face Quinn and Rachel whilst keeping hold of my hand

"Quinn and I would be honoured to enter with you Santana" Rachel told her and then ran to hug her dragging Quinn and I in with her.

It was 3am when I woke up to an empty spot on the bed in Santana's room, we'd decided to share yesterday and I'd slept much better with her cuddled into my side but she wasn't there. I got out of bed and walked out of the room in my duck pyjamas when I heard the faintest sound of a piano playing. Then I heard her voice, so raspy yet so broken. I walked towards the door to the music room and saw it slightly open, I looked through the gap and what I saw shocked me, Santana was playing piano and singing yet she was crying, she kept looking down. And then I heard what she was singing

 _Help, I have done it again_

 _I have been here many times before_

 _Hurt myself again today_

 _And the worst part is there's no one else to blame_

 _Be my friend_

 _Hold me, wrap me up_

 _Unfold me_

 _I am small and needy_

 _Warm me up_

 _And breathe me_

I pushed the door open slightly more and looked closely at her hands gliding acoss the piano keys, then I saw the blood, blood was dripping from Santana's arms. I pushed the door open and ran to her

"Santana? What did you do?" I say whilst looking at the cuts painted on her arms tears were falling from my eyes

"I'm sorry Brittany! I'm so sorry!" She was rocking back and forth in my arms as blood dripped onto my pyjamas and the piano keys, but I didn't care

"We have to get you cleaned up" I picked her up in my arms as she cried and took her to the bath tub. Thank god I knew what to do, I'd cleaned myself up so many times I knew exactly what to do. She began to cry even more as I cleaned them, probably from the pain. I cleaned her wounds and bandaged them up

"Brittany! Santana!" I heard Quinn shouting from down the hall, there were feet pounding on the floor as they ran towards the bathroom

"Are you ok? What? What happened?" Rachel gasped as they burst into the room. Santana was sat in the bath with bloody water, I was sat next to her on the floor stroking her hair with blood coating my duck pjs

"I cut myself for the first time in 2 years" Santana whispers a blank expression on her face as she starred at the bathroom tiles

"Santana no" Quinn yelled

"Why?" Rachel whispered

"It's December 19th, the same day I told Brittany that not only did I not love her, but I hated her. I believe the exact words were I hate you with every fibre of my being" Santana laughed

"Fuck" I whispered


	11. 10 Christmas Eve with You

*Santana's POV*

December 19th 2011, the last Christmas of high school and Brittany came over to me at my locker wish me a Merry Christmas and tell me that she still loved me and would do whatever she could to get me to forgive her and whatever she'd done. I remember taking a deep breath and throwing her card to the ground a pushing her against my locker, I yelled at her telling her that I couldn't stand to see the sight of her in front of me and that I didn't love her. I hate you. Those three small words broke her.

I woke up crying after having a nightmare about that day. I couldn't deal with the pain and so I cut myself even though I hadn't done it for 2 years. I didn't even feel the pain and I went to the music room and began to play Breathe Me by Sia, blood was falling on the keys of the piano. Brittany opened the door and gasped, she helped me clean myself up and then Quinn and Rach came into the bathroom and I told them what the date was. Next thing I knew Brittany was gone. I got out of the bathroom and ran to my room, I threw on a pair of jeans, a plain white long sleeved top and a pair of blue converse. I ran to the door and grabbed my beanie hat and leather jacket and before Quinn and Rachel even had chance to ask me where I'd gone, I was out of the apartment door.

I don't even know what made me think of this place, but I guess Britt and I still have some kind of connection or something. I followed my instincts and my heart to find Brittany. I clambered through the snow on the gross New York streets to the rehearsal studio and just as I thought, the sound of drumming was echoing through the building. I smiled at the thought of seeing Brittany doing what she loves, but then I remember I'm the cause of her being here, it's almost Christmas and that's Brittany's favourite time of the year, I don't want us to be on the rocks this time of year. I don't want to be on the rocks at all!

Suddenly the drumming stopped. I ran towards the studio on the way I grabbed a guitar that was just resting on the door. I began to play and sing through the door

I never saw a reindeer fly

Make it's way across the sky

But I know if I close my eyes my wishes will come true

Like the one I've saved for you

I heard Britt gasp and memories came flooding back. It was Christmas Eve in 2010 and Brittany's family were coming over to stay for Christmas Day. You see our families were extremely close and Brittany and I wanted to spend Christmas together as a couple so our parents let Britt stay over that night and we wrote a song together. It was about us and our love for one another. The whole night we stayed in our Christmas pyjamas and watched our favourite Christmas movies back to back until Christmas morning.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

Don't care it's cold outside

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

I'll keep you warm tonight

Through the good times and bad

Happy and sad

I'm still holding on

I know what I have

And all that I want is Christmas Eve with you

With you, yeah

I opened the door to the studio and saw Brittany sat at the drums looking at me. I paused my singing and just looked at her. She looked back and then smiled at me, my worried frown turned upside down to a grin, Brittany picked up her drum sticks and played a simple fill and then joined me in singing our song that we wrote.

The simple things like goin' home

And friends they say you're not alone

Songs of joy they keep you strong make everything okay

Oh and Santa's on his way (on his way, yeah)

I walked around to the front of the drum kit and we kept singing to each other

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

Don't care it's cold outside

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

I'll keep you warm tonight

Through the good times and bad

Though happy and sad

I'm still holding on

I know what I have

And all that I want is Christmas Eve with you

Yeah, yeah, yeah

The sleigh bells are ringing

They're getting real close

I think I hear Rudolf

Just up the road

Candle lights

And hearts full of hope

The stars shining bright

Some things never change

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

My arms are open wide

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

I'll keep you warm tonight

Through the good times and bad

Though happy and sad

I'm still holding on

I know what I have

And all that I want is Christmas Eve with you

Let it snow, let it snow

The fire's burning bright

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

I'll keep you warm tonight

It's not just the gifts

Under my tree

The best things in life

I'm totally free

Brittany stopped playing and so did I, we were face to face and the last 2 lines were whispered as we pressed out foreheads together

And waitin' for me is Christmas Eve with you

Is Christmas Eve with you

"You remembered it?" Brittany asked with a smile on her face

"Of course I remember Britt. That was best Christmas I've ever had. Having you holding my hand whilst we opened presents and cuddling whilst watching movies with our families. We were together but our families didn't know at that time" I told her

"How's your arm?" Brittany asked and I looked down at my bandaged arms and just shrugged "Lemme see?" I pulled my sleeves up and she took the bandage off, the cuts had stopped bleeding, she leaned down and kissed all of them.

"Santana? Please promise me that you will never do this again?" She whimpered and I just sighed

"I can't promise to never do it again, but I can promise you that I will try my hardest to not do this again, I don't want to cause myself pain or the people I care about" I told her

"I just I don't want to loose you Santana, what if you'd cut to deep? What if you bleed out and fainted and hit your head and none of us woke up? You could've died Santana and you can't do that! You can't die!" Brittany began to cry, I dropped the guitar and ran to her, I pulled her into my arms cuddling her closely

"Britt, B, I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry, I'll stop! I won't do it again I swear! I love you too much to put you through that kind of pain!" I told her. She stopped crying and looked at me

"I love you so much Santana" She leaned in and kissed me. I felt like my knees were going to buckle underneath me when I felt her tongue glide across my bottom lip, I moaned as she slipped her tongue inside my mouth. We battled for dominance until we needed to breathe so we pulled away.

"Can we go home now?" Brittany asked

"I am home" I whispered

"Your home is the studio?" Brittany looked confused

"No silly, my home is you" I kissed her cheek when she blushed at my statement, we walked back to the apartment and when we got there Quinn and Rachel were packing clothes in suitcases

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked while Brittany giggled

"We got a flight to Lima for the 4 of us for tonight, it was the only flight that would get us there for the Glee Club reunion" Quinn said and my face dropped.


	12. 11 Lima, Ohio

***Santana's POV***

Tonight?

"Wow. Wait what? We're going to Lima tonight?" Brittany yelled she sounded so excited (She always loved the Glee Club) but me, not so much. I suddenly felt dizzy, I stumbled backwards and fell onto the couch.

"San!" I heard Britt running over to me, she pulled me into her arms and held me close to her "Baby, we don't have to go if you don't want to we can stay here. We-" I cut her of by standing up and walking towards the stairs, I heard her calling my name and I turned my body to face her and smirked

"Well, we need to pack if we're going to Lima tonight right?" I smile at them and see Brittany takes a few steps towards me

"San? Are you sure?" She whispered, I stepped off the bottom step and reached out for her hands. Such comfort from just one touch

"Yes baby, I want to see Mr Schue and the Glee Club. I want to apologise for everything I did to them and I want to show them all how much I am in love with you as well as how much I have changed, changed for you. And I'm doing this because I need it, I need to face my demons in order for me to fully forgive myself and move on. I also think you need it, I think we need to go back to Lima, back to McKinley together to make new memories there. To face our past together. Because Brittany, I love you, I love you more than the stars love the moon. And I have always loved you. I want to do this to prove myself to you." Tears were flowing down my cheeks, Brittany let go of my left hand and used the pad of her thumb to wipe away my tears and then she kissed me. She kissed me with so much passion that it felt like the oxygen was being pulled out of the air. The tingling sensation from the touch of her lips was sent around my body at lightning speed, it felt as though I was being lifted off the ground and spinning around in the air.

Once we pulled away from one another we leaned our foreheads against each others "Santana Lopez, you are truly incredible and I would be honoured to go back to McKinley with you. But on one condition" Brittany whispers and I nod "When we get to Lima, the first thing we do after dropping our bags off, let me take you to Breadstix" Brittany says with a twinkle in her eye

"You mean like a-like a date?" I questioned, my eyes widened with the words that had just fallen from my eyes

"I probably should have asked you in a better, more obvious way" Britt giggles and then she gets down on one knee "Santana Diabla Lopez, will you go on a date with me?"

"Of course I will. Now get up here and kiss me" I say she jumps up, grabs me by the waist and spins me around before putting me down and kissing me. Quinn and Rachel come barging down the stairs with their suitcases packed and their passports in their hands

"Go and pack! Otherwise we'll miss our flight!" they yell as they run out the door to put their stuff in the car, Britt and I on the other hand run up the stairs and throw our stuff inside our suitcases. 15 minutes later we're shoving our suitcases in the boot of the car and heading off to the airport.

We arrived with half an hour to go before our flight. We ran through the terminal and boarded our plane. It took about 2 hours to get to Lima.

We got a cab over to my Mami's house while Quinn and Rachel went to their own places. When we unloaded our suitcases from the cab I began to worry and panic last time I was here I was hurting so badly inside, I'd lost everything that meant something to me. Before I had time to dwell on the past I heard the door open and saw my Mami with tears in her eyes and her arms open wide, I ran to her and cried into her arms. Once we pulled away she grabbed my face and just smiled at me.

"Santana, you look so happy" She whispered

"That's because I am Mami, look" I told her whilst turning around to face Brittany, I heard a gasp from behind me and I walked towards Britt. "Come on" I grabbed her hand and pulled her towards my Mami "Hi Mrs Lopez" Brittany whispers, she looks so shy, it's adorable. Brittany is the only person who still gets nervous around my Mom, she's known her for years and she's still nervous.

"Brittany! Dear, I have missed you coming round here! How are you? How are your parents?" Oh shit.

"I think they're ok. I wouldn't know um they kicked me out" Britt whispers with tears in her eyes, I lean over and put my arm around her waist

"Oh dear, Britt, I'm so sorry, come in both of you" she opens the door for Britt and I and we walk in carrying our suitcases. We take them up to my bedroom, it hasn't changed. Black walls, pictures of me and britt, me and Q, the Glee Club all in frames. On my bed side table are my Oscar shaped candles. The poster above my bed still hangs. My favourite picture of me and my Dad was in a frame on my bedside table, it was when we went out in the summer he took me to the beach and we just spend a day together. I've also got a picture of me, my Dad and Britt together. When we were younger he took us to the fair and Britt wanted a picture so that's what we got.

"Britt? It's 7pm do you want to go to Breadstix?" I ask her after we unpack our bags

"Yeah, but San, don't you want to spend some time with your mom?" She asked and I walked over to her and grabbed her hands

"Tonight, I just want to be with you" she smiled and just nodded. We both got changed, Britt wore a pair of black skinny jeans with a white shirt, a navy blue waist coat and black jacket. To top it all off she had her hair in smooth curls flowing down her shoulders. She looked so beautiful. I chose to wear a red knee length dress with a short leather jacket on top.

"Santana, you look stunning" Brittany whispered

"Britt, you look beautiful" I smiled at her and she grabbed hold of my hand, we walked downstairs and we were met with my Mami

"Ooo you two look beautiful! Where are you going?" she asked with a slight smirk on her face

"Well, Mami, Britt's taking me on a date" I looked at Brittany and noticed the slight pink tinge to her face

"Aww girls! I'm so glad you two have come back to each other, I remember when you first told me and your Papi that you were together. You were so in love. I'm so happy you found each other again." Mami gushed

"Thank you Mrs Lopez. That means so much to me, to us. Thank you for always accepting me and the relationship we have, you're the closest thing I have to a mother and I couldn't ask for a better one" Brittany says and I see my Mami have tears in her eyes

"Brittany, sweetie, you know I love you like another daughter, of course I'd accept you being with Santana, I couldn't think of anyone better than you to be with my daughter" Mami said and hugged Brittany tightly

"Britt, we got to get to Breadstix before they run out of Breadstix!" I yell with a smile on my face and I begin to run towards the car.

We get to breadstix and take our seats. We're sat in the far corner in one of the booths that we always used to sit in many many years ago, but the feelings we have for each other haven't changed. When the waiter came over he introduced himself and took our drink order obviously because she's Brittany, she ordered pink lemonade and I just ordered a Fanta because it's awesome.

"I'm really glad we did this Santana" Brittany says

"I wanted to talk to you about something" I say and Brittany frowns

"What is it?" She whispers

"Britt, what are we? Are we dating? Or what?" I ask and I know I'm blushing

"Well, I asked you to go out to a meal and we've been spending time together for a while now so I'd say we're dating, but only if you want to because I want to but only if you do cause I don't want to pressure you into anything that you're not ready for" Brittany mumbles and it makes me giggle, I reach over the table and grab hold of her hand, I run my thumb along her palm which instantly calms her

"Brittany, all I have ever wanted was for us to somehow find our way back to each other and now we have of course I want us to be dating. I want to have everything with you, I want us to work our way back to being girlfriends. I've known you for years but it feels like I've known you forever, and there is no doubt in my mind that you are the love of my life and I'm not loosing you again. I'm never letting you go B" I tell her, tears falling from our eyes just then the waiter comes over and takes our food order. Obviously we get a shit load of Breadstix as well as spaghetti and meatballs with some chips on the side for the both of us.

For 2 hours we were sat in the booth just talking, talking about memories from middle school and most of high school, we avoided the topic of Senior year because all that would've done was hurt both of us and that's not a good way for a date to end, especially a first date. I'd forgotten how amazing Breadstix was and so before we left I asked our waiter to get me a take out box full of breadsticks, honestly I think he thought I was crazy but hello, they're breadstix breadsticks.

Brittany and I got back to my Mami's house at about 10 because we decided to walk around Lima for an hour and just be with one another, we walked, held hands and it was beautiful. We got home to Mami sat downstairs holding a book upside down

"Mami? Have you been waiting up for us to get back?" I smirk at her knowing she's been looking out for us

"What? No!" She yells dramatically

"Obviously" I winked and Brittany just laughed, Mami turned a bright red colour and I could tell she wanted to know about the date

"Mami! The date was fine! Britt and I are just trying to get back to what we were before Senior year and hopefully that'll mean we'll get back together and everyday will be like paradise" I blush and Brittany plants a kiss on my cheek

"Well, I couldn't be happier, now I'm going to bed cause I'm tired and I've got work in the morning. Have a good night. Haven't you got your Glee Club reunion tomorrow?" She asks and my heart starts to race

"Yeah it's tomorrow, it should be fun. Santana promised she'd explain everything that happened just before Senior year started, she's so brave. I couldn't be more honoured to have her on my arm when walking into that choir room" Brittany says which causes me to smile widely.

Britt and I headed upstairs just after Mami did and we put on our PJs and stuck a DVD in the player, I think it was the Little Mermaid, I don't know. It got to that part in the film where Ariel is singing about wanting to be part of the human world, I don't know why but I got teary eyed. Britt had her arm around me and must've felt my body shaking as I began to cry silently because she held me tighter

"San? Babe? What's wrong? Why are you crying?" She whispered and placed kisses on top of my head

"I'm scared Britt" I sighed

"Aw baby. You shouldn't be, they are all going to understand and they'll still love you. You weren't in Glee Club for most of Senior year but they were all worried about you, Finn, Puck, Tina, Mercedes, everyone they wanted to know why you'd suddenly changed. Once you tell them the truth. Once they know that that wasn't the real you they'll understand. They're going to accept us because everyone in that club knew how much I loved you and you loved me so they'll be happy we got back on track and somehow, somewhere we found each other again. Plus we got an awesome recording contract that is going to make us rich and famous so who wouldn't want to be our friend?" Brittany giggled, she turned to face me "Santana? Promise me that no matter how rich or famous we get, we'll always stay true to ourselves and true to each other. I don't want us to become blinded by fame and forget our love" she sighs and I lean in and kiss her.

"Never loosing you again Britt. No matter what, I will always love you" I whisper against her lips and she smiles into our next kiss which lasted much longer.


	13. 12 Fuck you, Puckerman

*Brittany's POV*

It was weird waking up knowing that today was the day we'd see the Glee Club again. I know for a fact Santana is going to freak out before we go into that room and see everyone, what if she backs out? I don't know what I'd do if she did that. I love her so much that I can't help but hope for the best but I'm worried I'm setting myself up for failure.

"Hey babe" Santana says whilst rubbing the sleep from her eyes

"Hi" I mumble

"Britt? Is something wrong?" Santana says as she leans up to look me in the eyes

"Santana? Can you promise me something?" I whisper with tears in my eyes

"Brittany? Yes of course. Whatever it is, I promise. I hate seeing you sad Britt, I hate it please tell me what's wrong" Santana said as she rubbed the tears that had fallen down my cheeks

"Promise me you won't back out when we go to the Glee Club? Promise you'll walk in holding my and we'll tell them everything that happened. About your dad, about my parents, about all the pain we both went through and how we found each other again. I know how hard this is for you and I'm scared you'll freak out and run away from me" I sob just letting everything be released, all my feelings and fears out on the table for her to see.

"I didn't know that you felt like that" Santana whispers after almost 5 minutes of silence "Britt, I'm sorry I made you feel that way, so frigging sorry. I promise I won't back out, if this is what I need to do for you to fully trust me then I'll do it! I'll do whatever you need me to do! I swear Brittany" She tells me tears threatening to fall from her eyes and I actually believe her.

"I believe you Santana." I whisper before leaning in and kissing her on the forehead. Suddenly there was a loud banging on our door.

"Santana! Brittany! Get up! We're going to be late for the Glee reunion" Rachel's voice echoed through the door. We both giggled before climbing out of bed and getting dressed. Santana wore tight leather pants with a white v-neck t shirt and a black leather jacket. I on the other hand wore a pair of jeans with a baggy jumper with a cat on it. We walked downstairs hand in hand and were met with Quinn, Rachel and Mrs Lopez sat in the living room.

"Are you ready Mija?" Santana's Mother asked while she walked in front of Santana

"I think so Mami" Santana smiles nodding her head

"San? It's time to go" I whisper in her ear as Quinn and Rachel into the car. Santana takes a deep breath and entwines her fingers with mine.

*Santana's POV*

I'm terrified. I know the route like the back of my hand and with Quinn's driving we're getting there much quicker than anticipated. We're literally minutes away and I'm now beginning to panic, but I made a promise to Brittany and I intend on keeping that promise. We pull up just outside the old high school. God, I used to roam those halls like I owned the place and now I'm scared to even enter the building. So much has changed since then, I've grown. I'm ready to show everyone my love for Brittany. The four of us are stood side by side on the steps leading to McKinley's entrance, Brittany reached down and grasped my hand

"You ready for this?" Brittany asked

"Ready as I'll ever be" I tell her. Rachel couldn't wait any longer, she pulled open the doors and there it was, those hallways that hold so many memories for the four of us. It was almost breath taking being back there. We headed down the hallway to the room we all knew to well. The choir room. It felt like we were walking in slow motion like Charlie's Angels but with 4 of us. It was kind of daunting knowing that our past friends, enemies and lovers are sat in that room, I don't know about Britt but I'm shitting myself right now. I look to my left and see Quinn and Rachel were hand in hand and the smiles on their faces showed it all they couldn't wait to be out and proud and together. Britt on the other hand looked more scared than I was I stopped them just as we reached the choir room door and I turned to face them all. Brittany had tears brimming in her eyes and my heart sank.

"Britt. It's ok. I'm ok, you're ok, were ok. I'm ready. I'm so ready for all of this to be over. I want you to be brave and be strong because right now you're the only thing stopping me from running away and getting on a plane to Australia. Take my hand and we'll do this. I love you" I whisper those last three words so only she can hear them and she leans in and kisses me softly. Without another word she takes my hand and nods to Quinn and Rachel who open the choir room door and we walk in. Rachel and Quinn stood close beside each other and I stood with my hand in Brittany's. But I started to feel the panic rising and so I unhooked my hand from Britt's and linked my pinky through hers just like we used too.

"Rachel Berry" I hear a voice coming from across the room and see Finn Hudson smiling widely he clambers off his chair and walks over to her. I see Brittany run over to Mercedes and Quinn heads straight for Artie they all look so happy. I stayed in the shadows by the door I would have just walked out if it wasn't for Mike

"Santana? Is that you?" He whispers stopping everyone in their tracks and everyone faces me

"Umm hey" I say "I know most of you are probably still mad at me for what happen senior year but I have a reason for that. I swear I do. Please give me a chance to tell you?" I said looking at the ground. There was silence for what felt like an hour but in reality it was probably 2 minutes.

"Well, everyone take a seat" Mr Schue said "Santana the floor is yours" I took a seat by the piano and breathed in deeply

"The day before senior year started my dad was shot and killed by a police officer at the corner shop near my house. Me and my papi we were so close for years he was the only person I trusted. I didn't even trust my mom until he passed away. It was the day Britt was coming back from holiday so I was super excited because she was my best friend and I missed her she usually came over after she arrived home so I stayed by the door and waited for hours. It got quite late and my papi walked past and I started crying saying things about Britt hating me. So he did what he always did when I was said he told me that he was going to buy ice cream and we were gonna watch our movie. He didn't come back. I blamed Brittany and along with that I blamed you all. I'm so so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt anyone I just didn't see the point of living or being kind or nice or anything anymore. Life seemed pointless and I had nothing. SO instead I learned how to play bass guitar and that's been my go to every time I felt upset or angry or sad I'd just play." I whispered and then looked up and saw a mess of blonde hair running towards me she enveloped me in her arms, she was crying and I hugged her back and held her tightly

"I love you" she whispered shakily and at that moment nothing could hurt me

"Santana? I'm. No WE're so sorry. We didn't know. We accept your apology and realise that you're not the bitch we all thought you were you were just hurting and that's ok because it's ok to cry sometimes" Kurt spoke up and I looked around the room to see everyone with sympathetic smiles on their faces.

"Group hug?" Quinn said and everyone got up and cuddled into me and Brittany. This is where we belong. This is my family.

"Ok ok. My turn" Brittany said pulling away from the hug I went and sat back down in her seat "My parents kicked me out because I'm gay. Months after we graduated someone called my mom, at work and told her I was gay. And that was it, my family gone not just my mom and my dad, my little sister was taken from me, none of my family speak to me anymore. They all blocked me on facebook, mom cut off my debit card, but I had just enough time to buy a plane ticket to NYC before I got cut off. I got that plane and headed to New York, no plan, hardly any money and nowhere to live. I had nothing, so I ended up living on the streets of New York begging people for money I barely had enough for food and water. I knew that that was how I was going to die and I was ready to die. I wanted to die. I had nothing left. It got so bad at one point I hadn't eaten for 2 days and all I had to drink was half a bottle of water from the bins I collapsed on the sidewalk outside an apartment building and then I woke up in someone's apartment. It was Quinn's, Santana's and Rachel's. They took me in and basically brought me back from the dead. Not only was it the living on the streets that was killing me, but I started cutting a long time ago. I thought I'd kicked the addiction I had to it but I hadn't, I constantly have to wear long sleeved tops and jeans to cover the scars left behind" She tells them and they all run to her and hug her tightly knowing that she just needed to feel a sense of family.

After a bunch of caring words towards Britt and I we decided that we were going to tell them about the recording contract.

"Ok Quinn, Rachel, Britt and I would like to make an announcement" I yell

"We started a band and we have been signed to a record label!" Everyone starts to scream and cheer and we couldn't stop smiling!

"Will you perform for us?" Artie asked and we smiled and went across to the instruments. "Falling for you on 3?" I said and they all nodded

During the performance Britt and I couldn't stop staring at each other knowing the true meaning behind the song. It was probably the most passionately we'd ever performed because it was in front of an audience who loved us.

"Mr Schue? Can I say something" Quinn said after the performance and when Mr Schue nodded she took a deep breath "Rachel and I are together. I love her and she loves me. We've been together for a long time now and I've never been happier"

"I love you Quinn" Rachel says as she connects their lips and people start to cheer but then I see Puck in the corner looking miserable and possibly disgusted.

"Ok before we leave anyone else want to say something?" Mr Schue says and Mike pipes up

"Tina and I are getting married!" He yells excitedly and we all smile and cheer and Britt just looks confused. I think she already thought they were related or something. God she's adorable.

"One last thing before we go?" Brittany says with a small smile on her face

"Sure Britt what's up" Artie says

"During junior year Santana and I were dating, we were together just like Tina and Mike. Just like Quinn and Rachel only me and Santana. It hurt when Santana bullied me yes and I couldn't forgive her. But I did, I have and I love her more than I've ever loved anyone else in this world. I am so hers, proudly so" She turns to face me and I take a sharp intake of air "I'm so in love with you Santana" She tells me and then she waits

"I-I love you Brittany. Always and forever" I lean up and kiss her passionately with tears running down our faces! We did it! We actually did it!

"This is ridiculous" I hear a male voice speak and then I pull away from Britt

"Puck? What are you doing?" Quinn asks

"No shut up slut! You're both telling me that man hands and tweedle dumb over here are better than me? No! You're not gay! Neither of you are! It's wrong" He would have kept going but I'm sure he was silenced by my fist hitting his jaw.

"Fuck you Puckerman!" I kept yelling as I punched him harder and harder. Brittany pulled me away and took my cheeks in her hands

"Calm down. Stop this. Stop. You're worth so much more than what you used to be now. You don't need to go backwards. Please don't go backwards Santana, I can't lose you again, that'd hurt way too much." She cries

"I won't B. I won't I'm sorry. I love you and I won't do it again. I swear. Britt. Look at me please?" I put my hand on her chin and lift it so she's looking at me "You're my girlfriend B. Maybe not officially but you always have been and always will be. Well not always because one day you're going to become my wife. You're my best friend. My lover. My girlfriend and my soul mate. Just say yes Britt. Together forever remember?" I kiss her gently and she smiles

"Together forever. And yes Santana I'm your girlfriend. I love you babe" She smiles widely making me smile and everyone comes to congratulate us.

I guess Lima isn't so bad after all.


End file.
